I deserve to be happy!

Change is hard, but it’s worth it

Pause and take some slow, deep breaths!

It’s okay to ask for help!

This storm will pass!

Tolerate uncertainty!

Making a mistake doesn’t mean I am a failure. Everyone makes mistakes!
The only way out is through. Face it and work through it in order to gain control over it!

Though days don’t erase the progress I’ve made!

What am I worry about? How likely is this to occur? Evaluate the evidence!
It may not seem like it now, but this feeling will eventually pass, it will not last forever!

Stop focusing on the past! I can shift my attention to the present by practicing a mindful activity!

I will try to observe my thoughts without judgement!

Use a healthy coping strategy:Go for a walkWrite in a journalSpend time coloringMeditateListen to music
Resist the urge to isolate, reach out to s friend or family member. I may not feel like doing this right now, but I know that I usually feel better after I do so!

Challenge all-or-nothing thinking! Find the shades of grey between the black and white! 

If I find myself focusing on negatives, I can counter this by identifying and writing 3-5 positive things!
Panic attack tip ride it out!Label what I am experiencing as anxietyAccept it! Do not fight it or try to control itUse grounding techniquesRemember this will not last foreverIt is unpleasant, but it will eventually pass!

54321 Grounding techniqueLook around, identify and name:5 things I see4 things I physically feel3 things I hear2 things you smell1 thing you taste!

The Attack

So I opened my door. I should of never opened it. I recognized the knock and still opened it. He didn’t give me time to shut the door and he slammed it behind him. He threw me on the floor and and held me down to where I couldn’t move or breathe or even scream for help. He forced himself on me and raped me over and over again for hours. I was so scared to death. This isn’t the first time he has done this. I really wish I was strong enough to to something about it, but I am not. This caused me to relapsed on meth all I want to do right now is numb everything I am feeling…



EDIT!!! I DID NOT WRITE THIS. I copied and pasted because it was 100% what happened with me to the t. All those things. I went from a good life to homelessness to prison and turned my life around.

“I remember before I tried meth, I asked people what it was like. They said “it’s like a burst of energy, a rush that takes your breath, it’s the best feeling ever, I don’t know how to explain it really.’ And they were right, but now if someone were to ever ask me what it’s like, I would tell them..

‘It’s like spending every single penny you ever had, on drugs.

It’s like going days without eating even though you were starving, but you needed dope more.

It’s like having to lie to every family and friend you had ever had.

It’s like waking up hating yourself from the shame and guilt.

It’s like going into withdrawals every 8 hours unless you had more dope to do. (And you usually didn’t)

It’s like never attending any family event because you were too high or too sick.

It’s like everyone eventually stopped inviting you to events. And even talking to you.

It’s like crying yourself to sleep every single night because your children got taken.

It’s like knowing you have one more chance to get better before your child gets adopted and still choosing that bag.

It’s like asking others how your own blood child is doing.

It’s watching everyone around you succeed and yet you’re crumbling.

It’s like everything was on your drug dealers time. If they said five hours. You’ll wait five hours in a car.

It’s like stealing everything worth value for dope. No matter how sentimental it was to you, or someone else.

It’s like losing so much weight you can’t fit into any of your clothes.

It’s like losing everything you’ve ever owned in your entire life.

It’s like nobody believing a word you said, even if it was the truth.

It’s like being a prisoner inside your own head.

It’s like contemplating suicide every single day.

It’s like never being scared to die, because that’s what you wanted.

It’s like trying to shut your brain up for even five minutes. It was worth that little time of peace.

It’s like seeing your family cry for you to stop, only for you to leave and go get high. Because stopping wasn’t an option. It wasn’t possible.

It’s like you’d do absolutely anything for more. And you did.

It’s like everyone hating you no matter where you went, because they knew you were a drug addict.

You’ll miss out on your children and they’ll be grown before you Know it. You’d kill for your child and do any and everything for them yet you won’t be able to get clean for them and we actually turn out to be the ones who hurt them the most.

It’s like overdosing and going to get high right after.

It’s like walking into rehab 100 pounds with the clothes on your back and being scared to death.

It’s like giving your ENTIRE LIFE AWAY.

So if you’re ever curious like I was, please at least know the truth. CURIOSITY KILLED THE CAT, and it WILL KILL YOU TOO” 💯😔👌

A week on my new med Vraylar…

So I have been on my new medicine for a week now…so far I’m not doing really well with the change… they did increase it today so hopefully it helps…I’m going to try the increase for a week…if I’m still not doing well…were going to go back to the seraqole…I’m hoping that I do ok…I really don’t want to go back on the seraqole…