Ready to give up

Today I am really having a bad day… and really struggling with using…I just want to give up on everything…I’m so tired of trying to fix things and start to do better… then the next day I fuck them up again… it’s a pattern for me…I’m just tired of trying and then fail over and over again…

Saying goodbye as he goes off to college…

I got to say goodbye to my son tonight as he left for college. He is a sophomore this year at Perdue university. He got an apartment this year with a couple buddies he knows. I’m very proud of him. He has grown up to be a very good young man. I really didn’t want him going because of the virus still going on and I’m afraid that he is going to catch it. He tells me not to worry that he will be okay. I hope he has a good time.

August 19th

I just realized that it has been about a month since I have posted anything…

Right now I’m going through a lot of shit and I have reached the point to where I have had enough and I am ready to just give up…I’m still struggling with my drug of choice… and now I’m dealing with two friends that won’t leave my apartment and I have asked them so many times…I’m so stressed out that I have missed many appointments and I’m not taking my meds like I should be… it’s like they don’t have any respect for me or they would of left the first time I asked…I know this is now starting to effect my mental health… and I am also on housing witch if they find out that I have people staying with me I could lose my apartment…I don’t want that to happen…I’m just ready to give up and say fuck it and go stay with my mom in another town…

Heather