What really is the difference between a real blog and a fake one?

I was just sitting here watching TV… something on there caught my attention… then my brain begin to wonder…as we read blogs do you ever wonder if there real or fake…I really have trust issues…so I like blogging on here because no one knows me and it easier that way to get my thoughts out…

Relapse

Why is it so hard to stay away from the drug that makes everything go away when you are using it? I fucked up and used meth yesterday and today. I tried so hard to not pick up that pipe that was in front of me. But I’m really tried of feeling the way I have been the last couple of weeks. It seems like things are just getting worse and not better.

I did get to talk to my therapist today since we can’t have visits in the office. I really don’t think it went well. I did tell her that I relapsed. I just have to start over again. I always have to start over again. It seems like I have to start all over again every day. It just so hard. Sometimes I just want to give up. The seems like it would be the best thing to do.

I think right now I need to just take it one day at a time.

Heather

April 15th…

I really can’t believe it is already half way through April… this year has gone to fast…I have failed to keep my resolution I made at the beginning of the year… actually both of them… staying sober and keep up in this…I relapsed in February and I’m now just getting back on here…I decided to start over… maybe even start a new beginning with my life to…

This whole thing with all the virus šŸ˜· and have to stay home… has got me in a deep depression…I just stay in bed all day and don’t go anywhere…I’m really scared to… just about the whole town is closed where I live…I have to do phone sessions with my therapist and case manager… and they cancelled our DBT group….

Can’t go see my family because they live in another town and I’m scared I would get pulled over for driving…

Okay now that I have to stay home and do nothing…I’m going to commit to writing in this more often…

Heather